1. There's a song from the musical Fiorello!, written by Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick, called "The Bum Won" (sung by some New York political types after a surprise victory by the title character), which is always appropriate after every election, no matter who wins. The most quotable and always-relevant line:
Who would have guessed that the people would go to the polls and elect a fanatic?
People can do what they want to, but I got a feeling it ain't democratic.
2. Asked to explain the Ohio results, all I could do was point to Family Ties, which was set in Columbus, Ohio. Therefore, the Ohio results went like this:
Mallory: Didn't want to vote, but she decided to go to the polls to meet a cute guy, and while she was there, she voted Republican because they were promising to lift restrictions on imports of foreign makeup
Andrew (who would by now be old enough to vote): Republicans
That makes it a 3-3 split. Who cast the tiebreaking vote? NICK. He went Republican at the last minute because Laura Bush said something nice about his art. When Stephen finds out, he chases Nick around the state with a baseball bat with a nail in it.
And Skippy? Skippy's vote wasn't counted. As if you had any doubt.